I'm going to hell

Do you ever sit back and analyze your life and past? I'm currently going through a pretty tough time and I'm trying to make sense of it all. What could I have done? What should I have done better? Why did all these bad things happen? What did I do wrong? I've done a lot of thinking and the only solution I have come up with is..

Chain letters.

I have never passed a chain letter on.. especially the ones that say "If you ignore this your life will suck.. big time!." Shit. I knew deep down in my heart I should have "liked" and "tagged" 10 people. But No! I had to be too cool and break the chain! Uggh what was I thinking? How does one rectify this? Don't get me started on the "If you have a soul.. like, share, and comment Amen" I didn't post Amen!!! Am I going to die?? Guys.. this is serious! Did Jesus (Hey-Zeus) notice I didn't comment Amen? Is he plotting my death as we speak? I also haven't posted photos of sunsets with really profound quotes or pictures of Marilyn Monroe explaining "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.. yadda yadda" Am I going to make it?? Do I have to prepare my parents for my social media induced death?

I'm deleting my search history as we speak.. and that personal massager in my underwear drawer was for my neck...

Ok, social media Jesus, what do I need to do to stay on this earth for a little bit longer? I know I have failed these past 10 years with internet chains and never filling out online quizzes. What can I do to make up for it?

Farmville.

Fuck no! Sorry guys.. it was fun while it lasted. And again parents.. it was used for my neck.. I have a really stiff.. neck.