Feed Me Seymour!

Don't cry. Don't cry. Damnit Courtney Don't cry!

I'm standing in line at a local Qdoba. The teenager worker just asked me "That's it? That's all you want?"

Wait a second? I came here because I was hungry, this is where burrito dreams come true and now all of a sudden I feel like I need to question every life choice I have ever made. Is it.. all that I want? Do I want more? Do I need more? I could just be fine and settle for the queso and chips.. but do I really just want the guacamole? Do I switch it up and add some salsa? What about just saying "fuck it" and forget the burrito all together and get a taco? Who the fuck is this kid? Are you some kind of burrito therapist? Did you have to go to school for this? Did they teach you to completely break down someone's psyche while you wrap a tasty mexican delicacy?

I stared at this wizard of a child from across the sneeze guard plexiglass in pure wonderment. I could feel the impatient chubs McMidwestern woman huffing and puffing behind me. "Bitch, This is my session! Wait your turn!" I locked eyes with the burrito guru and asked "So when you say 'That's all you want?' are you implying I in fact deserve more?" He stared at me completely confused. "I get it.. you want me to talk.. ok so.."

I'm starting to lose all trust in men. I don't have Daddy issues, so I'm very unsure why I'm surrounded by well.. for lack of a better word.. Dicks! I would totally be a lesbian.. if I wasn't so afraid of vaginas and lack of silence. I know.. how can a female be afraid of an organ that she has? You honestly have no idea what a vagina can do! I automatically think of the plant from "Little Shop of Horrors" "FEEEEEEEED ME!!!!!" That scares the shit out of me.. man. But I digress..

How does one live happily ever after in 2016? Everyone wants the next best thing, an upgrade, or just a better model. Nobody wants to work anymore. If challenges arise, they just leave and go find an easier solution. It's very easy to forget about love and all the life plans you made together.. with just one click of a block button on social media. Out of sight out of mind. And how fake is social media? I can only speak from experience but while I was completely miserable and depressed in Michigan, I posted beautiful, lovey dovey photos of the perfect life I led.. with a man who treated me like I was worthless and invisible every single day. He later cheated on me, just to add salt to my wounds. But to the social media world.. I was happy.

"What do you get from all of this Burrito Buddha? I definitely do deserve more.. right?"

"Umm, Do you want extra cheese for just 25 cents more?"

You get me.. you really do.